I HAVEN’T EVEN GOTTEN TO THE PARTY YET SO JUST BEAR WITH ME

Let’s just skip to the final table shall we. It’s the main event, the part we all came to see. Actually very few of us came here to play poker, but this is the best of it and it certainly deserves a telling.

10 players remained and 5 were sbobet Palmetto proud (This is a South Carolina expression meaning they’re homeboys). In fact, 40% of the final table was comprised of members of the Smith family. I’ve tried all afternoon to think of any event where a single family has shown so much dominance and the closest I can come up with is the Corleones.

The entire table looked like this :

Double As

Dr. Pauly

Wes Nile Virus

Shep Tiltstein

Team Scott Smith

Debbie Smith

The Wolverine (also a Smith)

Lefty

Daddy

Uncle Brian (who knocked me out)

Honorary Feature Table bubble and 11th place finisher = Al Can’t Hang

At the start DoubleAs held a massive chip advantage and Daddy was close behind. The Wolverine cut into both stacks with some very crafty plays. Then shortly after Uncle Brian (Stupid pocket Kings) busted out we had the hand of the century….******* For Much Greater Detail on this hand you must read the END of this post a future post [ed’s correction], but here’s the short version:

Only two players, Daddy and The Wolverine see the flop :

It’s A-7-7.

The turn is a rag.

The river is a 7.

Daddy bets the river and The Wolverine pushes all in. Daddy says, “You have quads don’t you?” Then he lays down, FOLDS, pocket aces.

The Wolverine shows the hammer, Quad 7s.

AN APOLOGY

Meanwhile, the party was rockin’ outside. Four pretty girls dressed, oddly, as Hooter’s girls arrived. They brought dozens of their closest friends. My buddy Ted and his parents arrived and his mother who has very nice Hooters herself begged me to touch the muscles of her thigh. She’d been working out and, while I was uncomfortable, I hate to be rude.

Eva’d made me another LIT and a coupla carbombs too. I’d started tinkering with SoCo and had a head full of beer. After the previous night, it was easy to get the stupid flowing. Dr. Jeff calls it the “shampoo effect”.

THE SHAMPOO EFFECT

You know how when you lather your hair and then rinse, you get a pretty mild lather of bubbles on the hair.

But…

If you follow the directions and actually REPEAT the process you almost instantly get a full head of giant bubbles. The previous wash made the second one quicker.

Likewise, if you still feel last night’s booze, today’s is coming FAST.

Friends my buzz was moving like my Head and Shoulders and Al Can’t Hang is a lousy conditioner. Therefore, I’m a bit sketchy on the EXACT tournament details but I can tell what I remember. Most of my memories begin at the DRUNK OLYMPICS…

SANS CHEESE BALLS

WHAT I REMEMBER

Pauly beat Wes (The Big Pirate). They chopped the pot and then had one had to determine a champion. It was Pauly.

Within moments the gospel spread and the great game was over. Millions of devout Pauly fans shed tears of joy, millions of pirates returned to their jobs at Capital One. Better still, the DRUNK OLYMPICS were ready to begin.

Otis, Al and I dragged a PA system with two speakers to the upper corner of the driveway, Otis plugged it in, and said, “Hello” to the crowd. They were all there by then, and even the Hooters girls perked up.

CJ and BG were the referees.